C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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