Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
