My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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