it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
