I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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