You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize