if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
