As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
