he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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