yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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