Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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