you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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