Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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