OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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