So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
