she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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