thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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