we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I checked into jail on foursquare
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
