She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
