i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize
