Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
