Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
