so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
