it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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