Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
