and you said cock pushups were impossible
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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