She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
