His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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