im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
