turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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