are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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