I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
