Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
