OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize