i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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