So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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