Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
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Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...