had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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