He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
