Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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