Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
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And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
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You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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