Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
