A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
