i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Your shirt... Was in my pants
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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