Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize