every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
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You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
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But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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