Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
