She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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