why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
