he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
