Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize