Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
