Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
