gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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