I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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