my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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