Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
